Solo Red Night


My head is resting in my chin; but I’m not dozing 
My heart is squeezing to scream but only squeaky 
My mouth mumbles to tumble; trying to utter something
But I can’t find the words; my sentences are deranged

The world around me is happy, cherry exciting it is 
Everyone is celebrating, laughing; toasting to happiness
Warm hugs exchanges hearts; smiling lips cloud my sight
Yet no one is smiling at me, a solo island in a night of red; I’m alone

My eyes are reddening with tears; I can hold the dam no more
Put on a brave face, I say to myself, don’t show them your pain
But within me is an intolerable burning pain; a frosty fire 
An unruly desire to be happy; to be lost in his daunting arms

I’m alone on a red night; my love is not on the radar
Where is Cupid? Aphrodite? Will anyone hear my prayer?
Will anyone comfort me? I’m alone on the most romantic night of the year
With nothing but a bottle, my memories and this frozen chocolate from six years ago

If you could feel this pain, share this tear; bear a fraction of my hell
Taste the emotions and salt each drop of my tears carry

Walk in my lonely shoes; feel the cold embrace of your shadow dancing with you
Your jaws will drop in rue; you would mourn me

It’s a couple’s night, yet all I have is my imaginations 
My sad memories and hopes run wild, merging, trying to console me 
Yet the pain of loneliness; the feeling of being unwanted, unappreciated, unloved
Burns hot in my chest; branding my soul, sinking the last of my dignity

I quiz myself; how long will I dine in solitude? When will I be without tears?
If there is soul mate for everyone then in which cave is mine hiding?
Will I ever wake to a smile I can call my own? Will I wake to his greeting?
Who will wipe my tears and take my hand? Send me dancing in the stars 

My head rests in my chin; my thoughts diverge but converge on my solo pain
I’m alone on Val’s; there is nothing I can do, wailing can’t stitch my shuttered heart 
I can only pray for warm tomorrow; I can only hope  
Hopefully next year, I will wrap my hands around him and dance on the tears of joy

Solo Red Night
JayOach

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